Naps

Now I know my kids are not secretly sleep hating masterminds determined to destroy each other’s naps, but the results of their efforts might lead someone to give them more credit than they are due.

My little girl being less than a year old needs multiple naps a day.  This gives her brother plenty of opportunity to notice a quiet moment and fill the silence with his ill-timed noisy antics.  And it seems that though he could be noisy at any time of day he prefers to up the volume of his play when I’m trying to let the baby take a nap.

Now my son, being 3 years old, only takes one nap a day.   It feels important, and it feels like a gift when I can get my daughter to nap while my son takes his only nap of the day.  But my son is not the only one who fails to show any respect for the naps of others.  My little girl can go from drinking milk to screaming in the time it takes to take a breath.  This can, as one might expect, wake my son. 

Now my son does not take well to having his nap time interrupted.  If artificially woken from a nap my son more likely than not will cry, and not just a little.  He can spend approximately half an hour after being woken up from a nap, being absolutely inconsolable.

All these naps missed or mucked up can be hard on a caregiver. It’s just a lot easier to decompress and take a moment for one’s self when the children are sleeping.  Me time is important for mental health, but it feels selfish beyond reason to take that time when the kids are awake.   Even when my husband is home and playing with the kids, I still feel a little guilty for asking him to take over kid watching while I do things like take a shower or a nap or anything else I might want to do but can’t with children awake and underfoot.  Silly as it may be to admit it, the idea of delegating my kid watching responsibilities, even for a short period of time, makes me feel guilty.

This lack of both kids napping at the same time is sadly the main reason for the sporadic and random updates from me.

But let’s face it.  When the kids are awake they need me to play with them, read them stories, feed them…. You get the idea; right now all the mom things that make up daily life take precedence over blogging.

Trick or Treat?

I was a little nervous about taking my kids to trick or treat this year.  And not because I suspect my neighbors of wanting to give out “bad candy” or anything like that.

 No my concern was my 3 year-old son, who has gotten progressively worse at following directions would be a little monster or that my baby girl would get scared of the spooky decorations.  But to my amazement, once he understood what the game was, he became a well behaved trick or treater!  He was able to say “trick or treat” and “thank you” at each house.   And when he was able to tell what other kids were dressed up as he would say things like “Hi ghost!” or “Hello Spooky Witch!”

Talk about adorable!

And my little girl was mostly chill.  Well, she did cry when anyone in costume tried to talk to her… but other than that she was good with being in the stroller for a good chunk of our walk and then she was good being held for the rest of the mini adventure.

There was one overwhelming point when a large herd of children all converged on the same house that my son was climbing the stairs of.  He made it to the top landing just as the mass of elementary school kids knocked on the door and shoved passed him for candy.  But my son didn’t seem to put off by being jostled by older children and once they had cleared out the lady giving out candy gave him one of her glow bracelets which really made my son’s night.  “It’s beautiful” he said over and over.  It’s kind of amazing what a big impression a little light can make on a small child.

After a while my son was more interested in checking out what was in his bag than adding to it, so we let him have a lollipop and made our way back home,  albeit trick or treating along the way, but we made it with minimal fuss.

All and all I feel fairly good about the idea of doing this again next year.

No Mommy!

It’s kind of amazing to me just how hard small children will fight against things that are beneficial. 

Neither my son nor daughter wants anything to do with having their noses wiped.  We all have runny noses.  As the adult in the story I’m the only one who wants to use a tissue. 

My three year old son is quick to run his sleeve against his face after he sneezes leaving a disgusting trail of snot not only on his shirt but across his cheek.  When he see me approach with a tissue he either runs away or curls up into a ball hiding his face from me.

My 8 month old daughter not to be left out will sneeze and then giggle as she blows mucus bubbles out her nose.  When I pull out a tissue for her, she cannot escape.  This is not for lack of trying.  She alternates between flailing like a fish out of water and a super-dense limp noodle seeking to aid gravity in her quest to go from my lap to the floor.  (I do not drop the baby, she can try as hard to throw herself on her head as she likes, it’s not happening on my watch.)  When I finally succeed at cleaning her face she acts like her nose has been amputated.

Never mind the fact that my children can noticeably breathe better once my intervention is complete.  They think they don’t want it done.

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Now this sort of struggle continues with damn near everything!

Other parents who have been there look on with sympathetic eyes and offer encouragement and tell me that I’m not alone.  People who have never had kids frequently look on as if I’m a Disney Villain on a quest to make my own children unhappy. (Which as far as quests go would be amazingly stupid. I mean I’m around them all day every day.  And you can just guess how much I enjoy the sound of screaming.)

Out numbered

It’s funny but before I had my second child my mind never fully processed that by having two kids I would be out numbered.  I have a lovely husband who is a fantastic dad.  But as fantastic as he is he still has to go to work, leaving me home with the kids.  Two kids one me…  On an average day it can be difficult but I can handle it. 

But what about on days when the kids and I are sick?

Super mom I may sometimes feel like.  But when I’m sick and the kids are sick at the same time, it is time for me to call in reinforcements!

Trying to feed a sick baby while my toddler needs to go to the bathroom and I feel like an extra in a zombie movie is a recipe for disaster. 

My preferred lifeline is of course my husband as he is the only person not me who can currently hold my daughter without her screaming in terror. (Some people have children that seem to lack a sense of stranger danger, but my children have enough to make up for those who have none.)

My son was two before he was actually cool with being watched at home by family while I was out.  My daughter is currently eight months old and screams when other people try to touch her, even while I’m holding her.

My mother and my brother are also good reinforcements when days are rough even if the only kid they can help out with is the older one.  That is better than nothing!  He’s easy to play with, so having someone take him to go be noise in the next room while I try to nurse a sick baby to sleep is truly a gift.

What about good days when no one is sick?

Those I can manage on my own.  I’ll admit that even good days can leave me feeling frazzled at the end of the day.  But as a super mom, I make it work.  I have found that I can in fact do most things while holding a baby.  Which is good because my baby really likes to be held and isn’t shy about letting me know how little she likes being put down to play with her toys if I’m going to wander a whole five feet away to help her brother with something.

I’m back

It’s hard to fully express just how bad sleep deprivation is for one’s ability to remember. Last week one of my online friends asked me when I would get back to writing in my blog.  I clicked on my profile and saw a link to a blog that I had completely forgotten about.

So I started reading what I wrote…  It all looked good to me… ok so I noticed a few words missing here and there.  But other than that I’m happy with it.

So here I am again talking to you.  About what it’s like to be a mom while my baby sleeps in my lap. 

But this time the baby in my lap is a little girl.  The little boy from earlier is sitting on the floor telling nursery rimes to his toy dinosaur.

I feel like my ability to focus has gone down while my awareness has gone up.  Which I guess is a good thing as I now have two children to watch over.  Children who will attempt to do very different dangerous things, at random intervals.

My now 3 year-old son will try to climb things he shouldn’t.  And my 8 month old daughter will try to grab things that are not good for someone as young as her.

So right now I don’t know how often I will be able to take the time to type.  But I’m going to give this blog another go and post when I can.  I do enjoy writing these.  Wow… talk about a sentence I never would have seen coming from me when I was child in school.  I’m dyslexic and in elementary school reading and writing were activities that were painful for me.  But by the time I was in high school reading was my favorite form of escapism.  Now that school is behind me I finally want to do what my parents always told me I should do when I was younger, keep a diary. 

The ever constant march of time does a real number on my sense of perspective and motherhood has created a drastic shift in my priorities.

Now I wouldn’t dream of generalizing my experience to everyone.  But I can tell you what I have experienced.  And share my truth with you.

I remember before I had kids a father told me: “All the bad things they say about having kids are true times ten.  But all the good things they say about having kids are true times one-hundred.”  

And I’ve got to say: sometimes, when times are rough it’s hard to even imagine that times were ever good or will be good again.  But when times are good it’s easy to forget that times were ever bad.