Discipline

Is your child pushing boundaries?  Or doing things they know you don't want done?  Is your child giving you more drama than a soap opera?  Are you too angry to deal with this sort of behavior? If you answered yes to any of these or think you might some day read on for one mom's takes on a tricky topic. (The mom in question is me.)

My son is an affectionate little boy and I love him.  That said we don't always see eye to eye.  And since I'm the mom in the story we tend to go with what I think is best as the default.  And while I try to keep my son safe and do what's best for him he sometimes gets it into his head that he want's to do something else.  And sometimes that thing he thinks he wants to do is not only a bad idea but a dangerous one at that.

And that's kind of the thing with small children, they don't seem to have a sense of danger.  But how do you stop your child from behaving in a manner which you don't approve?  Well obviously we start with the verbal measures.  "Don't touch that" or "come back" tend to fall off the tongue quickly.  But what I find gets the best results is distraction.  If I can make what I want done more interesting than what I don't want done, we both win.

Ok that's nice but what about when distractions fail to distract?  My child has found an inner drive to do that which I do not like.

Sounds like it's time for consequences.  My personal favorite and the bane of my son's existence is "Time Out".  Time outs are fantastic.  They give everyone involved a chance to cool off.  If my son is throwing a tantrum I put him in his play pen and take a few steps back.  (I know that the playpen is only fun for him if I'm in it with him.)

Play pens are all well and good for small children, but what about big kids?  Can I spank them?
No.  Please don't.  When you hit a child they learn that it's ok to hit people, which guess what, it's not.  (might I also add that you may not have the advantage of height and weight forever, do you want them to want to hit you?)

Ok got it hands free, what about yelling?
Do you want your kids to yell at you?  Because if you don't want your kids to yell at you, you probably shouldn't yell at them.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Then what can I do?

Lead by example for starters.  You can also randomly and infrequently reward behaviors that you want to encourage.  And start removing privileges when behavior is subpar.

Remember you want your kids to respect you. I understand that fear can have some overlapping symptoms with respect but only respect has trust.  And you want your children to trust you.