Baby Steps

I was hanging out at the mall with an old college friend who was talking about starting a family after her man finishes school. Letting my One and a half year old son lead the (meandering) way.  [Not a bad way to go if you’re in no hurry to be anywhere specific.]  And at some point during this mall crawl we began to reminisce  about the baby shower I had had. 

The baby shower had been pushed back a week so I could attend; as I was in the hospital with a fresh baby on the day we had initially planned to party.  So my baby shower was a little different than the baby showers of my friends in that my baby was there to be cute and sleepy at people, rather than being the under dress bump for people to speculate over.  As the party began to wind down I remember  sitting in my rocking chair, baby in lap and telling my friends “there is so much they just don’t tell you before you have a baby” my friends looked at me expectantly and asked “what don’t they tell you?” I sat there mind blank.  I could not think what to say next. 

But moving forward in time to the mall hang out I was able to put into words what a person one week into being a mom could not:

“I was too tired to tell you just how tired having a baby can make you”

One sleep deprivation induced hallucination I remember with particular clarity:  I was lying in my hospital bed; my baby lay in his bassinet to my right.  My head bobbed in that way it does when one is falling asleep sitting up. I was lying in my hospital bed; my baby lay in his bassinet to my left.  My head bobbed again. I was lying in my hospital bed; my baby lay in his bassinet to my right.  

It was like the room had mirrored itself and then righted its self in the time it took me to blink twice.

Another thing that seems sort of obvious now, but I really wish someone would have mentioned before the baby showed up has to do with breast feeding.  Get this: if this is your first baby, that makes two people trying to do something together that neither has any experience doing.  Sure the mom in the story may have the general idea of what she should do.  But guess who has no idea what’s going on and doesn't understand a word of what you are saying.  That’s right… a new baby has zero experience doing anything and has just had a rather rough day!  And now you are trying to teach a nonverbal person an important life skill.  How to eat: a trick that before today wasn't even a thing to consider is now vitally important, and a cure to this new malady called hunger, which is also no fun.  My baby angrily bit me as hard as his toothless mouth could, before he got the idea of how to make the milk come out.

To make a long story short.  Your baby is grumpy and does not know why you are sticking a boob in his face.  This does not make you a bad mom or mean that you have a defective baby.  It just means you two have a lot of learning to do together.  So give yourself a break.  Practice makes perfect.

I’m sure there is more that could be said on things you learn as you go, but nap-time is over so I must go.