Gift for who?

There is understandably a lot of excitement over a new baby.  Adding a baby to the mix is one of the biggest life changes you can make, and no matter how much "homework" you did, how many gifts you were given, how much advice was shared etc... you still have no idea what you're in for until you have a baby.  At which point all bets are off.

Now this may sound like a tautology but bare with me..
One big change in becoming a parent is that you are now the parent. Remember all those rules you're parents made for you?  Well guess what, it's your turn!  You are in charge and it is up to you to decide what is and what is not ok for your bundle of joy.  What is safe for your child to be exposed to?  Thought you had opinions on that before a baby entered your life? Guese again! No mental exercise is equal to experience and no one else's children will matter to you as much as your own.  What you feel indifferently about the kid down the street doing, may end up being something you care strongly about when it comes to your child.

Your child's safety is important (especially with your new found appreciation for how much work went in to making it this far)

Now I know I just said people will be excited about your baby and then followed it up with talk of safety.  Here's why:

You friends and family will want to give things to your baby. (Surprise surprise right?) News flash! What people want to give your kid and what you want them to give your kid may not have as much in-common as you would hope.  And here is the scary bit, some of the things they will want to give your kids are not safe!  Toys and games that are not age appropriate wouldn't be so bad if the person who bought it wasn't trying to hand it directly to your child so they could see baby play with it right now.

If the box says ages 6+ and my child is not even 2 I'm going to be mad at you.  It is wrong on so many levels to give a gift directly to a child if there is even a chance that mom or dad would not approve.  For starters you may have just endangered a child.  You selfish git.  Second when mom or dad has to confiscate an inappropriate toy you have just made them the bad guy.  Guess who isn't going to be invited to the next birthday party! (It's you!)

Ok fine.  You are now scared off of toys.  (Though you could always check with mom and dad before you buy, as long as they don't tell their kid, it's still a surprise.)

How about money?  (eh.... maybe...)  This is variable on a case by case basis.  Mainly what is the message you are sending with a gift of the monetary persuasion?  How is it intended?  how will it be taken? Some people are too proud to accept this form of "charity" and may even resent you for it.  While others would be glad of help.  I mean hey, diapers are not free!  Though I've got to say if you think that you can buy love, let me clear something up for you.  You can't.  (so don't try).

But I want to help pay for babies college fund!  And a proud parent isn't interested in handouts.
Ok here's one where I'll help you go behind mom and dad's back because I think an eduaction is the most vauable gift you can give someone. Go ahead make that fund! (tell no one!)  when that baby is an 18 year old high school graduate you now have one boss graduation present! Plus if you set the money aside now it's got years to acrue intrest.

Finally and most importantly, if you want to help some one or give them a gift:
It's not a gift if there are strings attached and it is not helping if it is unwanted!