Arguing

Arguments happen.  We are all start from different places.  No two journeys are the same.  Your truth is not my truth; nor will it be the same truth as that of your best-friend or lover.  When you have a child, you will find things mattering that you may have felt indifferent about before.  Nothing brings out strong opinions like becoming a parent.  As the new boss in town with at least one very new life to manage beyond your own; new found responsibilities push you to take charge.  The thing is generally speaking it takes two to make a baby.  So if there are two parents in the house it's not unreasonable to think there might be two different notions on just exactly what is best for the child(ren).  And when parents disagree about anything to do with their child, things can get heated.

Just remember who you are trying to protect (hint: your baby) and keep things calm in front of your children.  Failing that, say sorry (to your child for being scary in front of them).  And make up with your partner in front of your child.  Mommy and Daddy may have argued with each other but your child needs to see more than just what happens when people are angry.  Your child needs to see what forgiveness looks like.  What it looks like to apologize.  To hug it out. To kiss and make up.

When things come up I recommend trying to talk about it without your child in the same room.  That way the adults in charge can have a chance to talk over why they think what is best is best.  Even if you don't start out in agreement hopefully through honest discussion a consensus can be worked out.  That way the two of you can show a united front on everything from when bedtime is to what's ok for the kids to eat and anything else you may not have thought might be a point of contention before.

Don't take the lazy way out and refer your child to seek a yes or a no from your partner.  If you don't know if your spouse would be ok with something it's more than acceptable to say "I don't know let me talk to mommy (or daddy as the case may be) about it first."  Not all questions need to be answered the moment your child asks them.